Van Halen Reformed (again)

I know, I usually rant about games and stuff but today, I can’t seem to focus on anything else except a 895 VIP ticket for Van Halen fans.

A little back history – I grew up listening to Van Halen (courtesy of an older brother) and even when I was too young, I was so jealous that he got to see Van Halen before they became Van Hager.  (Nothing against Sammy Hagar, maybe it was his curly hair, or his baggy orange pants or maybe it was that really awful “I Can’t Drive 55” video, but as vocalists go he had some big shoes to fill.) Anyways, about as close as I got to see Van Halen was David Lee Roth on his solo tour for “Eat’em and Smile” along with Steve Vai and Billy Sheehan.  A couple of years ago when there were rumors of Van Halen reforming, I was looking forward to it, until the eventual diva fest happened and well yeah it never happened after that.

So the rumors started again, oh la la, they were actually getting back together this time, new song released today, new record coming out and a tour.  Now, I do wonder why Michael Anthony didn’t return as well, but having seen an interview with him not too long ago, I get the feeling he isn’t one to go back, shake hands and play with them again.

Anyways, the new trend in music is this VIP shit. I call it shit, because that’s what it really is, but I’ve paid for that kind of shit for the groups I follow.  But then this morning the shit(?) hit the fan when the VIP tickets for Van Halen went on sale.

$895 – That’s right EIGHT HUNDRED AND NINETY FIVE Friggin dollars for a VIP Ultimate ticket (just one by the way).  What does that give you?  You would think being picked up in a limo by at least a member of the group, but nope here you go:

• One reserved ticket in the front row
• Backstage tour
• Pre-show party
• Parking (where available)
• Early entrance into the venue
• Van Halen Ultimate VIP commemorative laminate
• Exclusive Van Halen gift bag
• Commemorative VIP ticket
• Crowd-free merchandise shopping
• On-site VIP Host

So let me break this down – for $895 (a cost of a week cruise I think) you get –

One reserved ticket in the front row – notice they don’t say center or possibly the center.  Now don’t get me wrong front row is where I want to be at any concert (except the ones with crowd surfers and I’m forced to jab my fist into any jerk’s crotch who thinks they can surf over my head.  Yeah hold on to them boys, you might feel some pain if I’m in the front row), but you might be stuck in front of the speakers, where you will feel the concert more than seeing it.  So okay lets say you get lucky and you are front center. The normal ticket price is approximately $150.  Is that worth $895? Nope.

Backstage tour – Okay so boys and girls, there are the very tired roadies, that’s the back of the stage, you’ll also maybe catch a glimpse of a guitar or God forbid a microphone.  Really what is there to see backstage?  We are talking about arenas that are used as hockey rinks and pop stars.  Oooh backstage, what a thrill – is that worth $895? Nope.

Pre-show party – Some food, (I wonder what color M&Ms there will be?) some drinks, a bunch of fans remembering the awesome shows they have seen or how many times they’ve seen this one.  Sure, there is some atmosphere there, even a groupie for fellas to gawk at I’m sure.  Pre Show party with your host and other fans worth $895? Nope.

Parking – Worth upwards of about $20 if available.  IF available – enough said.  So is parking worth $895? Nope.

Early Entrance to the Venue – After you’ve wined and dined at your pre-show party you get tossed to your seats to wait before other people show up.  What benefit is that to you? I mean if it was general admission and you were able to get up front before the folks outside hey sure, that’s worth something if nothing but your time.  Early Entrance worth $895? Nope.

Ultimate VIP Laminate – Bragging rights?  You get a little plastic pass that looks really cool when you are the show and everyone is looking to see what makes you so special, but how much is it worth after the show?  It’s great to have up on your wall I suppose.  VIP Laminate worth $895? Nope.

Exclusive Gift Bag – You get a T-shirt, a bandana, maybe a key chain and if you’re really lucky a beverage cooler or undies with the band’s logo on it.  I figure to buy all that stuff you probably wouldn’t pay $80 but just in case you might, lets say $80 (cost is probably about $15).  Is that worth $895? Nope.

VIP Ticket – I’m not even sure what that is.  A laminated ticket that says you were a VIP?  To my knowledge the ticket you need and the one we all consider our precious is the one you use to get into the arena.  So this one, while I can’t say I know what exactly it is, I can definitely say it is not worth $895.

Crowd-Free Merchandise shopping – WOOO! Pay to get in before the crowds so that you can spend more money on Merchandise before everyone else? Big friggin whoopie.  I mean seriously, a t-shirt that costs $50 doesn’t feel any cheaper when you don’t have to push through a crowd.  In this case, you’re paying for the right to SPEND more money – this is nuts and not worth the $895.

On site host – Uhh, you’ve got someone to tell you where to go and what to do and what not to touch or “don’t go there.”  Oh and you can also ask them where the bathroom is, which they may or may not know.  Sure, I would love to be that host and I would be damn good at it, but they aren’t being paid $75 an hour to babysit you for maybe 2 hours?  Having a host is necessary but is it worth $895? Nope.

So lets add this up (and remember these would be our costs, not the cost of the promoter or band)-

Ticket – $150
Backstage tour – $0
Pre-show Party – $25 (A drink or two and some appetizers lets say)
Parking – $20
Early Entrance – $0
VIP Laminate – $5
Gift Bag – $75
VIP Ticket – $0
Crowd Free Shopping – $0
Onsite VIP Host @ $50/hr divided by how many people are willing to pay this outrageous price (we’ll say 10) – $5

Grand total $280

I don’t know what to say but to tell everyone not to buy it.  Boycott this crap, this tour will sell out, get your tickets and go but don’t fall for this.  I don’t even know what I would do if someone offered me a ticket. I would feel dirty and bitch until the show started, then hopefully the concert would take some of that dirty feeling away.

The music business is dirty enough, but they always seem to top themselves. :(